Pruning and glorious messes

When I was younger I remember my mother had a huge garden. In it we had a beautiful world full of flowers and life that was fun to be around. I remember too that she had a few rose plants that I would watch her cut down to a few main branches before leaving them. I'd watch as she water and care for what seemed like a dead twig in the ground for the months leading into spring.
Finally as spring came I can recall watching in fascination as branches and buds along with leaves began to turn the root into something beautiful as the buds bloomed into roses that colors ranged from a light pink to a deep ruby red.
Why am I bringing this up? Because these past few weeks we've been talking in Fusion about remaining in Christ and abiding in the vine like he calls us to do in John 15. And to be honest I've heard it before in church how we need to continue to remain in God or we cant make it in  this life. It's just too much that we can't handle or make happen on our own. It's impossible to handle this crazy life on our own. And to handle it I thought we had to remain in Christ which meant that all I had to do was show up on sundays and worship while reading my Bible daily and praying and serving others occasionally. 
But it's more than that. It also says in John 15 that God like my mom did will prune the vine so it can bare fruit. Just like my mom knew the rose bush wouldn't sprout anything unless she trimmed away the dead growth so to does God know we don't grow without work. 
That's where I find myself at the moment. It's fall in my life and God is trimming away dead growth. I feel terrified. Change is always scary and hurt in a way but that doesn't make it any else beautiful to me. But as I was saying without God pointing out the things in my life preventing me to be the best example I can be I would be screwed. There would be no growth. I'd be stuck as a dead shrub not a shrub who will eventually reach spring and bloom.
Until then I have to relearn a lot of stuff and it feels crappy like I'm getting no where. Growing is painful but here I am a glorious mess learning how to abide in her Father and what he has for me in my life and to let him make a beautiful thing out of my life.