went and saw Reprando on Wenesday as part of the group of volunteers for the showing that is happening in our area on April 7th. And it shook me. My brain is still trying to wrap around everything that was said in there. And even then, its not even half way through processing it yet. But the thing that keeps sticking out to me from the movie, is how interwoven grace is throughout the story of the film.
Without getting into too much detail, because I want you, readers or people who even just briefly glance at this, to go and see it for yourselves. But the images of the dump keep sticking in my head and this doll’s hand just reaching out to the sky, like its waiting to be rescued from the shit that its trapped in. And that is still messing with me as the words were said when it was shown a second time “God has rescued us and now we are trophies of His grace.”
Damn.
Trophies of His grace.
Honestly, I don’t understand grace. I think no matter, how much I read, no matter how hard I try and figure it out I never will. I’m always striving to earn something it feels like in this life from my paycheck to your comments on this post or anything I put out, I feel I have to earn something to get something. It was just the way I was taught. You save A, so that you can get B, to enjoy C. That’s just how my brain was molded. So when I hear of grace and the fact all it requires is for you to let go of what you are carrying and be willing to let yourself be rescued and taught and walk as Jesus did.
I’d like to lie and say I don’t know which of those things is hardest for me. But I have to say when it comes to grace, there is no way to earn it that bothers me but not as much as the fact I have to be willing to be rescued and carried part of the way. I’m so use to being strong, of the rock/shoulder to cry on in most of my friendships. Being strong on my own gets me so far but to be secure enough to be broken and trusting God? That is the hard for me, to let go of the arrogance of thinking, I’ve got this. I can get so lost in that mindset that I try to earn grace that I forget that it can never be earned because it is not for sale. Grace can not be sold or bartered because it is a gift. A gift that I have to fully want and allow to change my life.
Because Grace isn’t just about wiping the slate clean. It’s about that and allowing that gift to help point out things that need to be changed and working on those things. And I’m still learning how to let that happen. The point of grace isn’t just to redeem but to redeem and restore. And the price for this is my surrender. I’m by no means an expert on the subject. But I think the more I strive to accept Grace and let it into my life to change me, only then will I be able to change the world. Because with my own strength, I can do nothing. With Grace and God’s strength I can be a light, I can change the world. Now all I got to do is continue to work on my growth, to remember that I can’t do it without God and his Grace.
And with that I leave you with this quote
“In efficacious grace we are not merely passive, nor yet does God do some and we do the rest. But God does all, and we do all. God produces all, we act all. For that is what produces, viz. our own acts. God is the only proper author and fountain; we only are the proper actors. We are in different respects, wholly passive and wholly active.” Jonathan Edwards
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